FOR SALE: My Anxiety – Own a Piece of My Nervous Energy
Ever wanted to own someone else’s anxiety? Well now you can!
In a bold attempt to raise funds for the never-ending leaks, drafts, and general chaos of restoring the Santa Fe Castle, I am offering up my anxiety for sale.
Each purchase comes with an official digital certificate (suitable for framing, burning, or using as a coaster) confirming your ownership of a small but genuine portion of my daily dread and existential angst.
What You Get:
A lovingly designed certificate emailed straight to your inbox.
The warm, fuzzy feeling of helping us patch up yet another mysterious drip from the ceiling.
Bragging rights: “I literally own a man’s anxiety. It’s in writing.”
Important Notes:
This is for entertainment purposes only. I’m still legally and emotionally responsible for my own panic attacks.
All funds go directly to castle repairs and not to therapy.

Disclaimer: This is a novelty digital item. No physical goods or actual anxiety will be transferred. I cannot sell you an emotion ! (Lawyer told me to write this)